Your Shocked, Wordless Heart

Today I woke up to the rain beat Drew the drapes of my body upward to stand and walk Today the women’s feet shook the wood Rhythmic we stomped and floated the morning mother dance Today we spoke of lost tomorrows We might never see, we might never wake up into Today I was quiet, counting hours Spidered thoughts, little scared boats, down the routes unexplored Tonight we made a talking circle Listen, talk, listen, talk, all the ages, all the hurts Tonight I lost track of the minutes The house breathing out, the waiting for things to make sense Tonight stomp-feet are gone, circle closed Another day in this body. Sleep clawing me back

Wind on my tongue. Threads of dinosaur joy I used to know things. It doesn’t matter anymore Lost the pen. Now typing in my sleep On a broken keyboard in some other locked-up house I don’t have hands. Hmm. Do you have hands? Can you feel the rain, how it’s shot through with cinnamon? I hear the good silverware dancing How does it know when to start and when it ought to stop? Morning has broken, broken again I keep wandering through the thinning walls in the air How does it end, this stumbling road? Threads? Joy? Rain? Who will finally crank open the roofs?

I put the book and the mirror down I put the telephone down, and there is a sunshine Why am I bundled in memories? Why do I speak in patterns and ancient grievances? I put a foot forward, take a step And a lifetime comes with me - or maybe falls away I watched my mother grow old, unarmed She laid down her sword and shield to dance up the sunshine Out in the world I hear endless talk Inside our walls there's a voice that speaks only to me What is a child? Who belongs to whom? We are tightly woven and can't ever come undone